Married Jokes

1– Wife: “Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?”
Husband: “How can I? I don’t even know her.”

2-My sister Tina was telling her husband, Kay, about a wonderful program she had watched on TV. The show gave a national award to heroic people who put themselves in…

3– Q: If love is “grand,” what is divorce?
A: A hundred grand, or more.

4– Q: Whats the difference between love and marriage?
A: Love is blind and marriage is an eye-opener!

5-My son wanted to know what it’s like to be married. I told him to leave me alone and when he did, I asked him why he was ignoring me.

6-Son: What’s the difference between love and marriage?

-Father: Love is blind. Marriage is an eye opener.

7-If I have to choose between a husband and shoes, I choose shoes. They tend to last longer and are easier to replace.

8-Man: I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.

-Friend: Why not?

-Man: I don’t like to interrupt her.

9-Wife: Do you want dinner?

-Husband: Sure, what are my choices?

-Wife: Yes and no.

10-Son: Dad, I’ve heard that in some parts of the world a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.

Father: Son, that’s true everywhere.

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