Jokes of the teacher

1-The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb “to walk” in simple present. 
-The student: I walk. You walk…
-The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please. 
-The student: I run. You run … 

1-2- Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework? 
Student: No, he did it all by himself.

2– Father: What did you do today to help your mother? 
-Son: I dried the dishes .
-Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces. 

1– A: Look at your face I know what you had for breakfast :
-B: What was it? 
-A: Eggs. 
-B: No, that was yesterday. 

2-A: Why are all those people running? 
-B: They are running a race to get a cup. 
-A: Who will get the cup?^
-B: The person who wins. 
-A: Then why are all the others running? 

3– Patient: Doctor, I think that I’ve been bitten by a vampire. 
-Doctor: Drink this glass of water. 
-Patient: Will it make me better? 
-Doctor: No, I but I’ll be able to see if your neck leaks. 

4- Said to a railroad engineer: 
-What’s the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.The reply from the railroad engineer: 
-How would we know they were late, if we didn’t have a schedule? 

5-A: When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head, but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn’t rush to my feet. Why is this?

-B: It’s because your feet aren’t empty. 

6Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies? 
Student: I don’t know. 
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from? 
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

7-On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.

-“What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.

-No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing.

8– If big elephants have big trunks, do small elephants have suitcases? 

9– A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke? 
-B: Ok .
-A: A white horse fell in the mud. 

10– There is a California dude going through a desert. He’s wearing shorts, sunglasses, a towel and listening to music on his walkman. He’s having a good time. Suddenly he sees a caravan approaching. He stops the Arabs and ask them cheerfully: “Hey dudes how far is the sea?” They look at each other and say: “Two thousand miles!” And he says: “Wow what a cool beach!

11-In a restaurant:

Customer: Waiter, waiter! There is a frog in my soup!!! 
Waiter: Sorry, sir. The fly is on vacation.

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