1. Guest at a restaurant: “I refuse to eat this roast beef. Please call the manager! “Waiter: That’s no use. He won’t eat it either.
–2.So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we’re having a baby.
–For instance my name, address and telephone number
–3.You are so kind, funny and beautiful. -Oh come on. You just want to get me to bed. -And smart, too!
–4. I’m selling my talking parrot. Why? Because yesterday, the bastard tried to sell me.
5.I was picking up my girl. Her dad looked at me very sternly and said, “I want her home by midnight, young man!
-I said, “What do you mean? You already own her home!