Laugh without limits

1.An old lady comes to her doctor and says,Doctor, you know how you told me I should avoid going up and down stairs as much as possible

“Yes,nods the doctor, we agreed on that after the latest X-rays.

“Well I don’t know if it was such a great recommendation. All the climbing up and down the rain gutter is really exhausting!

2. “Have you been sleeping by an open window, like I told you?asks a doctor his patient.

“Yes, just like you said, doc.

“And is the bronchitis gone now?

“Not yet, so far the only things gone are my laptop and cellphone.

3.Two elderly ladies, Mabel and Evie, meet at a café for a nice cup of coffee and a cake.

After a while, Mabel peers closely at Evie and says, “Evie, it looks like you have a suppository in your ear!

-What?

“It looks like you have a suppository in your ear, Evie!” says Mabel a bit louder.

Oh,checks Evie, you’re right! Drat, well, at least I know where my hearing aid is now.

4. Why do monkeys carry their babies on their backs

It would be a bit hard dragging a buggy all the way up the trees

5.A man comes home and yells joyfully: Honey I won the Lotto!:Pack your things for a nice big vacation!

She asks: Awesome! Should I pack for warm or cold weather?

Man beams: I don’t care. Just be on your way already!

6.The guy who gives out food at the prison canteen asks: Eat here or take away?

The prisoner frowns: “Not funny, Marlon! Not funny at all!!

7.Teacher: “Who do you think invented dancing, children?

Little Johnny: “My guess is a big Irish family with just one bathroom.

8.Two men talking on a bus: 

“I’ve been riding this bus to work for 15 years now.

“Lord Almighty, where did you get on?!

9.Doctor says to the patient: Your coughing sounds much better.

The patient replies: And no wonder. I spent a lot of time practicing.

10. In a shoe shop: 

These shoes might be tight for the next two weeks. 

Don’t worry. I’ll start wearing them on the third week.

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